


Number 1 in National City

by MyCatIsMyEditor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Humor, SuperCorp, They're both disappointed in National City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28524447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyCatIsMyEditor/pseuds/MyCatIsMyEditor
Summary: Kara is shocked to find her best friend watching porn in the office but when she finds out why she decides it's probably a good idea. And well if they're going to sue they need to watch the whole thing... with potstickers... and they can't not point out the plot holes when they're so bad.Or put simply:Kara and Lena watch porn about themselves and complain about how bad it is.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 95
Kudos: 685





	Number 1 in National City

**Author's Note:**

> This was just chilling in my ideas folder and I thought y'all might have some fun reading it.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Lena said quickly.

Kara hesitated clearly torn as she looked from Lena at her desk the laptop showing what was most certainly not work related content.

“Uh, I’ll just-”

“It’s for work. I’m watching it for legal. I swear this is not-”

She stood up quickly. As she did so her hand brushed the keyboard accidentally pressing play. Even though the sound was connected to headphones Lena knew Kara could hear it. Lena quickly stopped it again. Kara was staring at her in shock. 

“We’re deciding whether or not we want to sue them over the video,” Lena said quickly.

Kara seemed to be frozen looking from Lena to the screen and back again.

“W-what?” she asked.

Lena sighed.

“There was a list put out recently showing the most popular porn searches and the top videos in various locations and the number one by a wide margin for National City was this one.”

Kara nodded still seeming very awkward and confused as she continued looking from the screen to Lena.

“The plot synopsis is, Supervillain Lana Luther kidnaps Supergirl and has her wicked way with her. Can the girl of Steel survive the torment or will she succumb to the dark side.”

Kara blinked looked at Lena then the screen and then she started laughing. Lena couldn’t help her moment of relief as Kara’s attitude changed.

“Seriously?” she asked looking from Lena to the video.

“Yes. We’re working out if we want to sue them. Which I’m thinking we will because they put my bloody name on it. Two letters does not a violation exclude.” She frowned at Kara. “Do you want to sue too? You probably should considering what they have you saying. We can team up for it.”

Kara looked at the laptop then at Lena.

“How bad is it?” she asked.

“Awful. I can’t believe people actually got off to this,” Lena said with a a small smile.

Kara looked from Lena to the laptop again.

“How far in are you?”

“Five minutes,” Lena said with a shrug. “It’s thirty minutes. Which honestly seems excessive.”

Kara looked at Lena then at the laptop and back.

“Wanna order potstickers and watch it together?” Kara asked.

Lena looked at the laptop then Kara. She thought about it for a second then she smiled.

“Yes.”

Lena placed the order and they moved to the couch setting the laptop on the coffee table and putting the sound on as Lena returned the video to the start. She hesitated.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with this?” Lena asked.

Kara nodded smiling and Lena pressed play.

**‘Supergirl’ struggled against a pair of luminous green handcuffs. Her breasts nearly spilling out of her tight costume as she wriggled ineffectively.**

**“Drat kryptonite handcuffs! How can I use my super strength now?” she said pouting.**

**“You can’t,” said a second woman.**

**The screen changed to see a dark haired woman in a very tight black business suit with a stylized silver L stitched on the pocket.** **Supergirl gasped.**

**“Lana Luther! No. How could you?” she said wriggling against her bonds again.**

**“Yes it is I, the last Luther and I will exact revenge for what you have done to my family!”**

**“Noo!”**

Kara couldn’t keep it together. She started laughing and Lena joined her pausing the video so she wouldn’t miss the next part.

“Who wrote this?” Kara asked.

“Someone with a very lurid imagination. It gets worse, or better, depending on how you look at it," Lena muttered hitting play again.

**Lana approached the struggling Supergirl trailing her hand up the squirming woman’s leg.**

**“Oh wait I can use my, Heat vision!” Supergirl said squinting at Lana.**

**Lana smirked.**

**“That won’t work, those cuffs are my own design. They won’t allow you to use any of your powers. You are completely at my mercy,” Lana said.**

**“No!” wailed Supergirl. “Curse you and your evil genius!”**

“Dumbest part of this so far. I’d need to either block each of your powers individually or use red sun lamps. Honestly why didn’t they just put a red tint of the room and say it was a sun lamp?” Lena muttered.

Kara laughed.

“Yeah, also I could break kryptonite cuffs that small it’d just really hurt.”

“Wait until you see the Kryptonite dildo,” Lena muttered.

“What?” Kara asked alarmed.

Lena laughed pointing at the screen where her film counterpart was removing an obscenely large green dildo from a box.

“Oh come on!” Kara muttered.

**“Now Supergirl, let’s see how well you regenerate when I shove this deep inside your perfect pussy.”**

**“No, you can’t that would be evil! No Lana I’m sure you’re good. You must be. Don’t you remember how I saved you? Please no!”**

**Supergirl continued to wail as Lana tossed up her skirt to reveal a pair of lacy red underwear.**

“I have pants now. And even when I wore the skirt I had shorts on underneath,” Kara muttered.

Lena laughed.

**Supergirl moaned and wailed at the top of her lungs as the screen showed the green dildo making it’s way slowly into her body.**

**“Ooh it burns,” Supergirl moaned.**

“Seriously?” Kara muttered.

“Yup, and any moment now we’re gonna get-”

**“Pink Kryptonite! No Lana truly you are despicable. It’ll make me gay!”**

“And there it is,” Lena said with a sigh.

“Oh for- You know Kal said it made him gay as a joke. I can’t believe that’s now a thing,” Kara said exasperated.

There was a polite knock at the door. Lena pressed mute and called for Jess to come in. She looked at the two of them surprised.

“We’re looking at suing,” Lena said in explanation.

“I’m sorry?” Jess said.

Kara indicated the laptop.

“That’s why we’re watching porn, and there’s the nip slip. I’m impressed that shirt lasted this long.”

Jess looked from the two of them to the laptop and back again.

“Apologies for disturbing you Miss Luthor. Your two o’clock tomorrow is ill, are you okay with meeting his VP instead?”

“That’s fine,” Lena said waving her hand her attention back on the screen.

“Did they seriously try to, and there goes my shirt really did she have to bite it off?”

Jess walked out again carefully maintaining her professional expression. The things she saw in this job. Lena unmuted.

**Supergirl moaned loudly.**

**“Oh no I can feel it working. Miss Luther your tits, they’re so big and… No! No I won’t. I can’t be gay I am Supergirl!”**

**Lana cackled evilly throwing aside her torn shirt and jacket before cupping her breasts and tugging at her nipples.**

**“I know you want to taste them Supergirl. You can’t stop yourself.”**

Lena sighed heavily. 

“Are they really going to- yes they are apparently.”

“Ten bucks she comes from Supergirl playing with her boobs,” Kara said.

“That’s a sucker bet of course and look yup there it is,” Lena said motioning to the writhing film version of herself. “Talk about unrealistic expectations.”

“Wait am I supposed to be biting?”

They both looked closer at the screen and Lena sighed.

**Supergirl was biting and sucking at Lana’s tits while Lana moaned obscenely loudly.**

**“That’s right my little slut worship my tits,” Lana moaned.**

**“I don’t want you Luther. How could you be so cruel?”**

**Lana cackled again.**

**“Oh I haven’t even begun to be cruel. First I’m going to make you come then I’m going to use you for my pleasure.”**

**“No! I’ll never come at the hands of evil!”**

Lena rolled her eyes.

“The hands of evil?”

“I know right, shouldn’t it be the dildo of evil?” Kara muttered.

They both sighed heavily as the screen changed again to show the dildo being roughly shoved into the on screen Supergirl who was screaming about how it burned so good.

“God a kryptonite dildo would hurt,” Kara muttered.

“But would it _burn_?” Lena asked with a smirk.

Kara gave her a playful shove as her phone started to ring. Lena paused the video and Kara picked up her phone.

“Hey Alex,” Kara said with a sigh.

“Kara, are you still coming in-”

“Sorry Alex I got distracted. I’m watching porn with Lena.”

Lena hit her with a cushion.

“I’m sorry you’re what?” Alex asked.

Kara sighed.

“Some idiots made a porno of _Lana Luther_ the supervillain kidnapping Supergirl so we’re watching it and deciding what we want to sue them for. Hey will the DEO pay my legal fees if I do sue?”

There was a long silence from the other end of the phone as Alex processed that. Kara sighed and Lena held up her phone indicating their food was ready. Kara smiled getting up and flying towards the restaurant. She landed surprising several people as she walked in and took her place in the line.

“Sorry had to fly somewhere, what were you about to say?” Kara asked.

“Let me get this right, you and Lena are watching porn about yourselves?” Alex asked.

“Yes, but we’re only watching it because we’re thinking about suing. Well she definitely is for good reason but I’m still on the fence if I can be bothered. Though I do feel like they really ought to be penalized somehow. The writing is terrible,” Kara said with a sigh. 

The line moved and she approached the shocked cashier.

“Order for Lena,” she said smiling at him.

The cashier nodded quickly turning to grab the bag.

“Of course it’s terrible it’s porn!” Alex yelled.

“Yes Alex I know that but you’d think porn stars could moan convincingly and whoever wrote the script desperately needed a second opinion. _No Lana truly you are despicable! It’ll make me gay!_ ” Kara mimicked rolling her eyes. “Seriously who says despicable in that situation? And as if I wasn’t bi already,” Kara said walking out of the store.

“Please tell me you were dressed as Kara while you said that,” Alex said.

Kara glanced back to see at least four people with their phones out and pointed at her.

“Ah, fudge.”

Alex’s disappointed sigh was lost in the rush of wind as she took off landing on Lena’s balcony a few moments later. 

“I really hope no one makes the connection,” Alex muttered.

“Me too. Anyway I have potstickers to eat and bad porn to watch so…”

“Please never tell me that again,” Alex said. “Just call me tomorrow.”

Kara said goodbye and tossed her phone on the couch taking out the boxes and handing Lena hers.

“So I may have accidentally-”

“The whole city now knows we’re watching this don’t they?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Kara said giving Lena her best apology eyes.

Lena sighed.

“Well may as well finish this monstrosity.”

They sat down and pressed play again. Several minutes of moaning and lewd thrusting later Kara turned to Lena.

“I might die of boredom.”

“Stop fucking and say something stupid,” Lena said waving her chopsticks and glaring at the screen.

“I think this is the part where people are supposed to be wanking onto their keyboards,” Kara said with a sigh.

Lena looked over at her.

“I never thought I’d hear you say _wanking_.”

Kara laughed and grabbed her next box of potstickers.

“Well I never thought I’d be watching porn with you,” Kara said smiling.

“Today is a day of surprises I guess. Oh look they’re slowing down.”

**“I’m going to keep you as my personal sex slave,” Lana said cackling madly**

**“Superman will save me!”**

“Lame!” Kara yelled.

“What is with all the fucking cackling am I a super villain or a witch?” Lena said.

“It’s definitely poor direction whatever you’re supposed to be. Their Lana was clearly chosen for her tits and not her acting.”

“Agreed.”

**Lana moved back and made her way down Supergirl’s body removing the toy.**

**“No don’t put your dirty Luther mouth on me!”**

“Dirty Luthor mouth, what the-”

“Well you do cuss quite regularly,” Kara said smirking.

“Listen you, if you’re not careful I’ll get some red sun lamps installed and the next time you come for lunch I’ll capture you and make you my _personal sex slave_ ,” Lena said.

Kara fell into a fit of giggles.

“Now cackle evilly,” she said.

“No I’m a Luthor we don’t cackle we just stare at you smugly superior.”

Lena did her best impression of her mother’s disapproving glare and Kara choked on a potsticker. They returned to watching the screen both shaking their heads at their on screen counterparts. 

“How much lube did they use?” Kara muttered.

“However much it took to get that fucking dildo in. God I hope she had some kind of warm up first.”

“There was a lot of wailing,” Kara muttered.

They both shuddered. They continued eating watching the drawn out oral scene.

**“No Lana stop please! If I come then you’ll truly be a worse villain than Lex.”**

“He murdered people!” Kara yelled. “What is wrong with this writer?”

“I’m pretty sure if I got you off it wouldn’t be evil,” Lena said with a smirk. 

Kara choked again her face turning bright red. A long wail from the on screen Super drew their attention back to the screen.

**Supergirl strained against the cuffs moaning loudly.**

**“No! Lana!”**

**A long keening wail followed as Supergirl thrust her chest upwards and squirmed.**

“Fake!” they said at the same time.

**“Oh no, Lana I- I-”**

**“Yes Supergirl! Now you’re gay forever!”**

Kara threw up her hands in exasperation.

**Supergirl let out another wail.**

**“No I won’t let you change me. I am Supergirl and I love men. I love dick.”**

Lena started laughing as Kara rolled her eyes.

“I love pussy too. Ugh what is wrong with humans and your weird obsession with genitals.”

Lena shrugged.

“Never understood it personally,” she said.

Kara smiled at her. Lena winked and then she saw her counterpart stripping off her skirt and moving to sit on Supergirl’s face. She sighed.

**“No I won’t I am good! I won’t eat your evil pussy.”**

“Did you hear that you have an _evil_ pussy,” Kara said.

“I think the writer really needed a thesaurus. Everything is _evil_ and _nooo_!”

Kara laughed. 

**“Yes you will Supergirl. I’ll make you. I’m not getting up until you make me squirt all over your face and then lick up every bit of my come.”**

“Oh for fuck’s sake- Of course they’ve added squirting because why the fuck not?”

“I feel like we should have bingo cards,” Kara said.

Lena’s phone rang and Kara muted the video so she could answer.

“Alex?”

“Okay this is going to sound weird but I just… What are you doing right now?”

Lena looked over at Kara and smiled.

“Watching porn with Supergirl.”

Kara fell off the couch laughing.

“Oh come on Lena you can’t be-”

Lena unmuted the video.

**“That’s right Supergirl lick me clean! I’m gonna make you bad!”**

Lena moved the phone back to her ear.

“Believe me now?” she asked.

Alex was gagging on the other end of the phone.

“Any more questions?” she asked.

“I hate you,” Alex growled.

“You should have believed me when I told you so.”

Alex hung up and Lena looked back at Kara who was dying laughing on the couch. She turned back to the screen and continued watching the over the top grinding motion of her on screen counterpart. Kara's laughter subsided and they sat together watching. 

**Lana came with a long drawn out moan collapsing atop Supergirl.**

“How are we only halfway through?” Kara asked picking up the fried rice.

“Poor pacing. Oh look you’re escaping.”

“Yay me,” Kara said with mock enthusiasm.

**“Now Miss Luther I shall have to enact justice for your crimes!"**

**“No prison can hold me. I am a genius.”**

**“Oh you’re not going to prison.”**

**Lana gasped at Supergirl as she adopted her Supergirl pose. Supergirl picked Lana up and stumbled off screen.**

**“To the Fortress of Solitude!”**

**There was a whoosh sound effect and the setting changed to a room with a lot of fake snow and a large bed covered in bright red sheets.**

“Oh look my hair is magically fixed,” Kara said.

“And I’m wearing a shirt again, what the fuck?”

**“This is the fortress of solitude!” Supergirl declared.**

Kara and Lena rolled their eyes.

**“Why have you brought me here? I demand you take me back to National City so I can call my lawyers,” Lana declared.**

**Supergirl dropped Lana on the bed and laughed adopting her signature pose again.**

**“Oh you won’t be returning to National City. Not until I am convinced you are fully rehabilitated and remorseful for your actions.”**

**“Then you’ll be keeping me here forever!”**

**“We shall see.”**

**Supergirl grabbed Lana and spun her around holding her hands behind her back. Lana squirmed pretending to struggle.**

“If she starts spanking-” Lena begun.

**Supergirl’s hand came down on Lana’s squirming butt with a loud crack. Lana howled.**

**“Bad Luther!” Supergirl yelled. “Bad. Bad. Luther!”**

Kara and Lena looked at each other and dissolved into a fit of giggles.

**“You have been a very naughty girl and I will make you good again.”**

**Lana moaned and wailed as Supergirl’s hand came down again and again.**

“Bad Luthor,” Kara said gasping for breath.

“Noo!” Lena said dramatically falling backwards.

**Lana moaned with every spank grinding her hips into the blanket.**

**“Hmm it seems you’re still being bad,” Supergirl said. “This calls for the rod of Krypton!”**

“I bet that’s a strap on,” Lena said.

“After the spanking I’m gonna say cane,” Kara said.

**Supergirl returned now wearing a bright red strap on.**

“Called it!” Lena said.

**“Now I’m going to use this on you until you change your ways and become a good Luther.”**

**“Never!” Lana declared as Supergirl thrust into her.**

Kara sighed and they sat watching their on screen counterparts moan.

“I think this is when we’re supposed to be getting off again,” Kara said.

Lena nodded.

“Ugh how long is left?”

Lena checked.

“Ten minutes.”

Kara sighed. Two minutes of watching their on screen doubles later Lena had finished eating and Kara was almost done as well.

**“Will you be good now?” Supergirl asked.**

**“Never! I am a Luther and we’re all villains,” Lana moaned.**

**“You can’t come until you turn good. That is the true power of the rod of Krypton.”**

**Lana moaned louder.**

**“It will never happen.”**

“How am I supposed to get off to this?” Lena muttered.

“Change the damn camera,” Kara mumbled around her last mouthful of potstickers. 

“I think more than one camera is asking too much of the budget,” Lena said. 

Kara nodded. 

The camera finally moved and Supergirl flipped Lana around pinning her from the front as she continued thrusting.

“Do you think they’ll bring in the super speed?” Kara asked.

“They probably don’t have the budget to. They could barely afford the paint on the cuffs.”

Kara tilted her head to one side.

“You know I thought they’d use a bigger toy.”

Lena looked at her confused.

“Well like with the kryptonite they used the biggest they could get but here it’s kinda average size and the _rod of Krypton_. You’d think it would be like… big.”

Lena nodded looking closer. She turned to Kara and saw she was having the same thought.

“Anal,” Lena said.

“It’ll be the big finish.”

“Why are people like this?”

**Supergirl stepped back.**

**“Well Miss Luther I see you truly are full of evil.”**

**Lana cackled.**

“Again with the fucking cackling,” Lena muttered.

**“You’ll never win Supergirl you cannot turn me good. Never!”**

**Supergirl adopted her signature pose and shook her head at Lana.**

**“I am the paragon of hope I never give up!”**

**Supergirl grabbed Lana turning her over once more and spreading her legs wide.**

“Here it comes,” Lena muttered.

**Lana gasped.**

**“How could you know?” she asked turning to look at Supergirl.**

**“I am Supergirl!”**

“Plot hole!” Kara said pointing. “Supergirl can’t read minds.”

**The camera zoomed in to give a close up as the toy went in.**

“I think I need to bleach my eyes,” Kara mumbled.

Lena laughed.

“But you’re so fond of my ass,” Lena teased.

Kara rolled her eyes.

“To look at yes. Touch definitely. But I don’t wanna… you know-” she gestured at the screen.

Lena looked at her for a moment and then she started laughing as Kara realised what she’d said.

“Fudge.” Kara could feel her blush. “Can we forget I said that?”

“Never,” Lena said with a smirk.

“Oh look I think they’re almost done,” Kara said quickly pointing to the screen. 

**“Promise to be good!” Supergirl yelled spanking Lana between thrusts.**

**“I promise!” Lana panted.**

**“Say it and I’ll let you come.”**

**“I promise I’ll be a good Luther! I promise I’ll be good!”**

**Her face screwed up and she let out a long moan as her body twitched.**

**Supergirl slowed her thrusts and then pulled out.**

**“I’m sorry I was a bad Luther,” Lana said looking up at Supergirl.**

**“I know. Deep down you’re good and pure you just had a bad family. But never fear should you turn down the dark side I will be here to fuck you back to the side of good.”**

**“Thank you Supergirl. I’m sorry I turned you gay.”**

**“Well you are a genius I’m sure you can reverse it. Until then we shall simply have to work very closely.”**

**Lana giggled and nodded.**

**The screen faded to black and the credits rolled.**

Lena sighed closing the video.

“Okay so I’m definitely suing,” Lena said.

“Yeah, uh hey can I get in on that, but like I don’t think I have like a legal… name I can file under.”

“I’ll handle it.”

Lena pulled up her emails sending one off quickly to her legal team. Kara sighed picking up the various take away containers and dropping them in the bin. 

“I guess I should go back to patrolling… or something,” she said awkwardly.

Lena smiled giving her a hug before returning to her desk.

“Probably. I‘ll start drafting my response to the inevitable deluge of questions about this. Did you want me to get my team to prepare you a statement too?”

“No it’s okay. I’ll think of something while I fly around.” Kara sighed turning to look at Lena again. “I guess I’ll see you, later.”

“You should know I have lunch with Kara tomorrow,” Lena said with a smile.

Kara laughed and gave her a hug goodbye.

“I’ll remind her.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed reading this. If it made you laugh, smile, or just roll your eyes let me know down in the comments. I always love hearing from you.
> 
> UPDATE:  
> Okay y'all will get a part two but it might be a while because I have two major projects to finish and several other one shots on my list to finish next.


End file.
